London

Yes. London approacheth.

Last American Day: August 17th.

Preparations and massive debt accumulation are underway.

Maybe someday I’ll get serious about posting here. That would be nice.

Love.
Shaun

Because The Night Has The Moon

You can go your entire life chasing the beauty and dark mysteries of the moon without ever realizing that it never had its own light. Until one day you discover that what you loved about the moon truly comes from the sun, around which you were born to revolve, and the moon is just a big, ugly rock.

The sun is unimaginably huge, and only seen through a distressingly small, dirty hole in the night. Never find in the moon what you really want from the sun. Your soul will never rest.

Love.
Shaun

For those who dream, lead

If I’m not mistaken, this is what people refer to as “growing up.” It’s a point in your life where the fantasies of childhood and the dreams of adolescence seem to be slipping painfully and chaotically from your grip; when the common thread of advice is either, “it’s normal” or “this too shall pass.” The worst of it is that those who embrace it get the societal high ground. They are maturing. Even if they aren’t. Even if the acceptance of the way it is continues, and it does, to lead to a revolving door of pain and struggle, it is seen as wise to acknowledge it. But it isn’t just the acknowledging, because that has virtue. It’s the acceptance. It’s the “this is who I am” or “this is how it is.”

And it hurts because at this particular time, this time of maturation, all those around you have the same choices in front of them. But it isn’t like times past where words and passion’s argument had an effect on the decisions of others; where a friend’s words held weight and value, because a sign of maturity is the independence of thought. And that is the very quality that gets sickeningly perverted into a glorification of those who can’t listen; the unwise leading themselves, blind with no guide.

This is what makes dreamers strong. Not that they have inherent power or strength of spirit, but that they get continually abandoned for the beauty of the ordinary, the allure of the status quo. It’s only in the ability to shrug off what they hold most dear that individuals are able to cling to what they believe. To be content is to have an anchor, to lose content is to float untethered, free, and alone on the ocean of hope. It is dark and bare place for the human soul, but like the moon reflects the pure light of imagination and vision. Few float freely on their own thoughts, and fewer still, once free, lead.

Love.
Shaun

The Time Has Come

Alright, this is just a teaser, if you will. A little something to get the blood flowing. I am going to try to update this more often. Yeah, we’ve heard that before… I hear you saying. And with good reason. I guess that’s all I can say for now.

What’s been on my mind recently: getting a new job, set list for Diverge on Sunday, writing a fiction story, raising money to go to London, sleep [a want what you can't have kind of thing].

Quote on my mind today: “German thinker Max Weber said that politics is ‘the slow boring of hard boards, and anyone who seeks to do it must risk his own soul.’… It means that change comes in excruciating increments to those who want it.” -President Bartlet, Privateers, The West Wing

Those who want it.

Love.
Shaun

Hello

This is a semi-random hello to those who stumble across my blog. I haven’t written here in ages. But someday I will. So check back every couple hours, cos you don’t want to miss this. It is going to be insane!!!

Not really.

But I will start writing here again eventually.. it’ll be swell when it happens.. so.. yeah..

Just know that I love you. Love! Brotha! Sista!

You know?

LOVE!!!

Ugh.. such a cool word.

Such a touching sentiment.

Such a life changing concept.

K

That’s it.

See ya later, friendsies..

LOVE.
Shaun

C’mon, Really?

So today I’m walking out of Blockbuster, I had just turned in one of those awesome Application for Employment’s that ask you all sorts of questions with inherently bad answers and don’t give you a chance to explain, and I’m feeling pretty okay about life. Just walking along to my car, normal Tallahassee evening: dropped a few degrees, but still humid as all get out, booming rap music shaking the air, police sirens, fog. As I near my car there’s an older gentleman going to the car door next to me, “After you”, “Thank you.” Right before he gets in his car I hear him say something to me. I didn’t understand what he said so I did one of those, “…ha… what?” things. You know, that reaction where you laugh a little bit because you know from experience that the first thing someone says to you is usually an attempt to break the ice with humor, and usually not something that isn’t worth at least a chuckle. So I did my, “sorry didn’t catch that but have a nice day” manuever, but he repeated: “And they wonder why we don’t give them respect.” As I had no clue what he was talking about, I countered with an ingenius, “Ha… yeah…” Then, as he’s pulling away, I realise that he had been referencing the black dude whose car stereo was the source of the afforementioned rap music, and I just sat there. Had that really just happened? What made him think that was an okay thing to say to me? I wasn’t wearing a “By the way, I think “they” is a great way to refer to black people” T-shirt, and “I don’t respect people who aren’t white” is NOT tattooed on my forehead. So I was stunned at why this man thought it okay to include me in his little discriminationfest. The answer, of course, and I’m sure all you bright lads have figured this out by now, is that I’m white. Because I’m white this guy thought, “Hey, it’s cool for me to say something racist to him.” And I just sat there. By the time I figured out what he meant he was gone. I was so mad that he pulled me into that. He went away thinking that that didn’t offend me, and [without this blog] no one else would have known that it happened, but it still made me feel like scum. After all that great men and women have done in this country, black and white, to try to enlighten the fact that there is no “us and them” there’s just “us”, it makes me sad that someone could still have the heart to blurt out something like that in public. So Mr. Loud Radio Guy, I’d like to apologise for letting that comment slide, and Mr. Disrespect Guy, “C’mon, really?”

Love.
Shaun

No more work

For at least a week.

And that makes me a happy man.

I just woke up at what would have been 6 hours into my normal shift.

Sweeeeeeeettt.

Love.
Shaun

Transition

So summer’s winding down and I find that I finally have time to jot a few thoughts down about summers and things very much like them. It was, as a general rule, a lovely summer. I got to spend loads of time with some of the greatest people in the world, I got to play worship in more than one amazing church with probably the most talented youth band this side of the mason dixon line [probably not an exact measurement], and I got grow up a little. Here at the end though I realise that I worked over forty hours every week, and I’m still having trouble scraping together my first rent check. Boo. But, lo, this is life.

People always say that.. I always say that.. but is it true.. is this life?

For another time..

There are a great many things to look forward to: Getting back to a regular worship leading schedule, voice lessons [I'd very much like to sing without cringing], School [oddly enough], friends [packs of wild brats roaming the moonlit streets], something something…

I’m excited, though never thrilled with leaving. Alas, what are you going to do? Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Right?

I heard that somewhere.

I think it was nebraska.

Anyway, thanks for checking in. I love that you read this, person. Seriously, individual, it warms my heart.

In a good way. Not in a “my heart is struggling to pump blood through my body and that’s why I sweating so much” way.

Love,
Shaun

ps I’ve never been to Nebraska. Fool.

pps I don’t really think you are a fool. I love you, remember?

The trouble is…

I never meant to cause you trouble..

I never meant to do you wrong..

Oh, if I ever caused you trouble..

Oh, you know I never meant to do you harm..

I’m sorry.

Love,
Shaun

Summer.. the final days

So summer was pretty sweet. My car runs again. I dig that.

All work, no sleep make Shaun something something.

Go crazy?

Don’t mind if I do!

I’m excited to get back to Tally, but I don’t really want to leave. I am in pickle!!!!!

Not the worst of pickles though.

Mm K.

I have nothing to say.

Love ya’ll.

Sssssssssssssssssssshaun.